lady_mary: Lady Mary Crawley in her dressing table mirror (girl in the mirror)
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Christmas comes to Downton over a month after the party Mary attended at Aphrodite's loft in New York, by which time the party seems like a distant memory. She feels like the woman who went to the party was a completely different person. It's difficult to enjoy the festive atmosphere when her guilt over the death of Mr. Pamuk is still tearing her up inside and Mama will hardly look at her, let alone speak to her more than is absolutely necessary to keep up appearances.

It is a relief then, when the holidays are finally over and the family begins preparing to decamp to Grantham House. They arrive in London afte the first month of the new year closes, and are immediately swept up in society dinners and entertainments. For Mary, the parade of engagements is an all too welcome distraction. She doesn't have friends, as such, but it is refreshing to interact with people outside her family. People who won't judge her for her behavior last November—not that they wouldn't consider it, just that they have no information by which to judge her. Evelyn may have no interest in marrying her, but he has clearly chosen to be discreet.

One of her only regrets is that Anna has, as always, been left at Downton. Jane, the head housemaid at Grantham House is efficient, and admittedly can work wonders with Mary's hair, but that doesn't stop Mary from missing her easy camaraderie with Anna.

Papa persuades Cousin Matthew to join them in town for a weekend, but thankfully Mary doesn't have to see much of him. He's always trying to be kind, and Mary can't stand so much earnestness from the man who's arrived to steal her birthright. Papa keeps him occupied for most of the weekend meeting friends around town and, of course, at his club. Mama hosts a dinner on Saturday, and though Matthew is not exactly in his element, there's nothing objectionable in his behavior. Still, it's a relief to see him flee back to Yorkshire on a Monday morning train.

By Easter, life has seemingly returned to normal. Mary and Sybil ride or walk in Hyde Park most mornings, occasionally accompanied by Edith, who is her usual less than delightful self. Mary re-accustoms herself to casually flirting in drawing rooms, albeit somewhat less casually than before—it wouldn't do to let things go too far, again. Perhaps potential suitors can sense the artifice, or perhaps it's the lack of fortune that no one speaks of but everyone knows about that is the obstacle.

It's all rather boring, in a very familiar way. In April, Mr. Travis prays for the eternal repose of those souls lost on the Titanic one year before. Prayer seems empty to Mary, but she wishes for Patrick the peace that she lacks.


[For the curious, takes place between Downton Abbey episode 1.03 and 1.04]
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Lady Mary Crawley

January 2020

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